


Bahamas and Butterbeer

by fourthingsandawizard



Series: Galaxies and Greenhouses: Oneshots [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Bahdrama, Brief mention of Tyler Oakley, Dan Howell - Freeform, Galaxies and Greenhouses, Gen, Hogwarts AU, I mean DanIEL Howell, Modern wizards au, Phil Lester - Freeform, Playlist Live, This was just begging to be written and you all know it, Voted Third Best Comedy in the 2017 Phanfic Awards, Wizard Dan, Youtuber Dan, platonic, wizard Phil, youtuber Phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 15:29:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10924710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fourthingsandawizard/pseuds/fourthingsandawizard
Summary: Tired of hiding his magic from his Muggle viewers at Playlist Live, Dan decides to take a spontaneous trip and tweet about it, much to Phil's exasperation.Inspired by the*ahem*drama created by a certain someone last week, I bring you the only logical explanation for Dan's Bahama tweets. You're so welcome.





	Bahamas and Butterbeer

**Author's Note:**

> This oneshot takes place in the Phan Hogwarts/Modern Day Wizards AU established in my chaptered fic [Galaxies and Greenhouses](http://http://archiveofourown.org/works/7520281/chapters/17093110), which should _probably_ be read before reading this fic, but isn't absolutely necessary.

“Ah, there you are, you beautiful thing, you! I missed you so much!”

Phil glanced up from his laptop to where Dan was making his way across their shared hotel room toward his suitcase, letting the heavy door swing shut behind him.

“You were only out to lunch with Tyler for about an hour,” Phil said with a raised eyebrow, “but sure, I guess I missed you, too?”

Dan resurfaced from digging through his luggage, wand in hand, and fixed his friend with an incredulous stare. “Not _you_ , you Flobberworm. I meant my _wand_.”

“Of _course_ you did,” Phil said with an exaggerated eye roll as he turned back to his laptop screen where a video was processing. He needed to get his video up for his Muggle viewers before he could leave for the YouTube party at Universal, and the Internet in the Playlist hotel wasn’t quite cooperating, probably from so many other people all trying to upload at the same time. 

Being a generally impatient person, the wait was starting to get under his skin, making him a tad bit irritable, and he longed for the nearly instant uploads he usually had with his videos on his WizTube channel for his magical audience. 

As Phil continued silently urging the progress bar on his screen, Dan flopped onto their couch, lying on his back and twirling his wand between his fingers. 

“I think that’s the only real downside to these conventions,” Dan said, giving his wand a small swish and flick to send a bottle of water skirting across the room and into his outstretched hand. “You know, being cut off from using magic for such long stretches of time?”

Phil hummed his agreement, rubbing at tired eyes behind his glasses. 

“I don’t particularly like it either,” Phil admitted as he adjusted the black frames resting on his nose, “but we both agreed it was safer to leave our wands in the room rather than risk a Muggle viewer spotting them.”

“I _know_.” Dan sighed dramatically, flinging an arm over his eyes. “I just hate feeling like I’m hiding such a huge part of who I am. I mean, at this point half the YouTubers we know are wizards! It’s getting a little ridiculous for all of us to have to keep covering up our magic!”

Phil shrugged, although he quickly realized that Dan didn’t actually see the gesture with his eyes covered. “I guess you just have to think of it less as hiding and more as protection.”

Dan pulled his arm away from his face, staring up at the hotel room’s ceiling.

“You know, Tyler used magic in front of his viewers earlier.”

Phil swiveled so quickly in his chair that he nearly fell out of it, wide eyes staring at his best friend in disbelief.

“Well, _indirectly,_ ” Dan corrected himself when he noticed Phil’s apparent shock, swinging his long legs around to sit up straight on the couch.

“ _How_ indirectly?” Phil asked, and even _he_ could hear the worry tinging his voice.

“He changed his hair colour between his panel this morning and his meet and greet this afternoon,” Dan answered, smirking slightly at the memory. “His viewers were freaking out on Twitter, trying to figure out how he apparently got his hair professionally dyed so quickly without even leaving the hotel. It was _hilarious!_ ”

“No, it was _dangerous,_ ” Phil said, crossing his arms over his chest. “Stunts like that could easily expose the whole magical community of YouTubers. The Ministry would probably pull some crazy _Men in Black_ crap and completely Obliviate all of our viewers, and then where would we be?”

Dan stared back open-mouthed for a moment before chuckling. “Sorry, I was so surprised you used a Muggle movie reference correctly, I didn’t actually hear the rest.”

“Daaaaannnn…”

“Honestly, Phil, it’s not that big of a deal,” Dan said after a quick swig of his water, twisting the lid back onto the bottle. “They didn’t actually _see_ him do magic, so it’s not like they could prove anything. Besides, it was fun! Chill out a little.”

Phil scoffed. 

“You think I wouldn’t like to loosen up a little about magic in front of our viewers? I would _love_ that, but it’s just too risky,” he said, turning back to his screen. “I swear, sometimes I really hate having to be the older, more responsible one,” he muttered, resting his chin in his palm.

“You know what, Phil?” Dan practically growled, crumpling his empty water bottle in his hand. “I _was_ just speaking hypothetically, but now you’ve actually _inspired_ me.”

Phil whipped around to face the younger man, who was gripping his wand with white knuckles. 

“Dan,” Phil said slowly, ready to talk the other man down, “what do you mean, ‘inspired’ you?”

Dan smiled almost menacingly. “I’m going to show you that it’s possible to blatantly use magic in front of our viewers without actually exposing ourselves as wizards.”

Phil gulped. “What—what are you going to do?”

A mischievous glint appeared in Dan’s eyes with a smirk to match. 

“I’m going to _destroy_ them.”

“Dan—”

“I’ll see you at Universal once you get your video up,” Dan said, backing up into an empty spot in the middle of the room, away from any furniture. “In the meantime, I suggest you keep an eye on Twitter.”

“Dan, wait—”

Before Phil could make it completely out of his seat, the younger man turned on the spot and a loud _pop!_ echoed through their hotel room.

Phil collapsed back into his chair in defeat. Once Dan got an idea in his head, it was nearly impossible to talk him out of it. Besides, Phil had no idea where he had even Apparated to, so it wasn’t as if he could try to go after him.

As Phil watched his video continue to process, he could only hope that his best friend wouldn’t do something they would both end up regretting.

 

\- - -

 

“Huh? Wha—”

Phil jerked awake at the loud notification that his video had finally finished processing. He ran his fingers through his bedraggled fringe as he checked the video over, hoping that he hadn’t been out long enough for the desk to have left a red mark on his forehead from where he had apparently fallen asleep face-first on the wooden surface. 

He quickly opened a new tab on his laptop to Twitter and published a link to his new video before repeating the process across his various Muggle and wizard social media accounts, crossing his fingers that the response would be positive from his viewers.  
Knowing ASMR videos aren't everyone’s cup of tea, he was a bit nervous, but he had enjoyed filming this one, and that always seemed to come across in his videos. Besides, he was excited to show off his new non-wicker bed to his audience for the first time, as it was one of his favorite possessions in his and Dan’s new flat.

At the thought of the younger boy, Phil’s nerves took hold for a completely different reason as the memory of Dan’s earlier outburst and disappearance resurfaced. Phil quickly flipped back to Twitter, scrolling through Dan’s profile for any sign of mischief. 

Phil let out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding in when he saw no evidence of magic in Dan’s tweets; the most recent one was still the picture of the two of them from the opening day of Playlist. He was sure the younger man still had something up his sleeve, but for the moment, their YouTube careers seemed safe.

As comments started pouring in from his viewers about his new video, Phil smiled to himself, retweeting a few and sending back various emojis. 

After a few minutes of responding, he happened to glance at the time, letting out a rather undignified squawk as he realized how late it had gotten. He still needed to shower, change clothes, and get across Orlando to Universal with the rest of the YouTubers attending the event. And he would be traveling the _Muggle_ way, thank you very much. Dan may be perfectly happy risking their exposure, but Phil wasn’t about to take that chance. 

As he stepped out of the bathroom about fifteen minutes later wrapped in his customary three towels, having taken a shower to get rid of the sticky feel of being in Florida’s humidity all day, Phil gave a quick glance at his laptop before moving toward his suitcase for a change of clothes. 

However, he was soon backtracking, clothes forgotten as he saw Dan’s newest tweet displayed on the screen.

 

[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=30utond)

 

“You have _got_ to be kidding me,” Phil breathed out, shaking his head in exasperation. “The Bahamas, Dan? Really?” 

When the empty hotel room offered him no response, Phil fired off a quick message to Dan comprised mostly of question marks, to which his _supposed_ best friend answered with only a single winking face emoji. 

“Daniel Howell, you absolute _arse,_ ” Phil grumbled as he resumed getting ready, throwing clothes around haphazardly in the knowledge that it would annoy the other man when he returned to their shared room later that evening. 

“Sorry mum and dad, can’t stay for our family vacation this year,” Phil muttered to himself, letting his imagination wander as he used his wand to quickly dry his dark hair to cut some time off his routine. “Thanks to _Dan_ , we have an urgent summons back to London from the Minister of Magic! I’ll write you from Azkaban, though!”

With his hair mostly dry and only a tiny fringe gap remaining that he couldn't be bothered to fix, Phil threw his wand back down into his suitcase, shoving his feet into his shoes and stomping out of the hotel room toward the elevator.

 

\- - -

 

“Here, take one of me holding my ‘butterbeer,’ it’ll be great!”

Phil made his way toward the table full of various wizard YouTubers just as a fresh-from-the-Bahamas Dan was getting his picture taken holding up his drink.

“What are you planning to do with that?” Phil asked as he plopped down into the seat Dan had obviously saved for him.

“You’ll see,” Dan replied in a sing-song voice, furiously typing away on his screen. 

Just as Dan finished typing, Phil felt his own device buzz with a new notification in his pocket. When he pulled it out and unlocked the screen, he was met with a tweet from Dan’s account.

 

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=wvqt53) [](http://tinypic.com?ref=2m4w0h5)

 

Phil held his breath for a moment, waiting for the inevitable onslaught of magical government officials that were surely going to appear at any second to drag Dan away. However, after several minutes of nervously waiting, it seemed as if they were in the clear. 

“You know, you could have gotten in major trouble with the Ministry,” Phil whispered as he leaned closer for Dan to hear him over the other YouTubers’ chatter. “Or even _worse_ , the MACUSA.”

Dan rolled his eyes over the brim of his cup of butterbeer, wiping away the thin layer of foam from his upper lip as he set his drink back down.

“Honestly, Phil,” Dan said with a slight chuckle, “if they didn’t want us to be able to make jokes about being wizards without risking exposure, they would never have let Rowling publish her Harry Potter biography as Muggle fiction in the first place.”

Phil chewed on his bottom lip as he looked around them at the sprawling theme park imitating their wizarding world, watching employees swoop by them in full cloaks even in the Florida heat, and children waving their “wands” around as their parents laughed and walked behind them. 

He sighed as he turned back to face Dan, who was watching him with one eyebrow quirked. 

“I guess you’re right,” Phil admitted reluctantly. “But _you’ll_ be the one dealing with the fallout on this. Have you even seen how much drama you stirred up online?”

Dan’s triumphant smirk faltered for a moment. “Do you think I could get away with completely ignoring it in my next liveshow after we get home?”

Phil snorted. “Not a chance. If they didn’t let up on the Haru pillow, they’re _never_ letting go of this one.”

Dan sighed a bit overdramatically before draining the rest of his butterbeer. 

“Oh well,” he said, pushing away from the table and gesturing over his shoulder. “Fancy a trip back to good ‘ole Hogwarts?”

Phil also stood up, following after his friend toward the ‘castle’ looming ahead of them, surrounded by the fading Florida sunset.

“Hey, Dan?” he said as he caught up, matching the other man’s stride.

“Hmm?”

“Post even _one_ tweet referencing our actual time at Hogwarts, and I’m throwing your phone to an alligator.”


End file.
